¡Salsa Ⓥerde!

Don’t be a fisherman. Be a farmer. Eat yo veggies! The amount of flavorful variations involving just vegetables are exponentially infinite. Not to mention the number of benefits that come with eating yo veggies! They are delicious health fuel that gives you nothing, but quality life.

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I do not intend to be a bossy asshole, but I strongly recommend the following:

  • Ride a F*#king Bike
  • Drink a F#*king Beer
  • Take Quality F*#king Pictures
  • Eat Yo F#*cking Veggies
  • Have F**king FUN

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I’ve been slacking with my blogs lately, but today, I am blogging all over yo face:)

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It is rare for me to blend or make sauces/relishes/salsas/etc smooth. I like food chunky flavorful and with character. I love Salsa Verde, but I refuse to make store-bought Salsa Verde. ¿Comprende? I was Mexican, Spanish or Creole in my past life. That style of cooking is explosive with fun and interesting variations.

2016-05-11 02.09.47 pm

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¡Salsa Ⓥerde! ingredients:

  • Tofu, extra firmly crumbled
  • Black Beans, cooked and cooled
  • Cilantro, chopped
  • Tomato, deseeded and chopped
  • Scallions, sliced
  • Tomatillo, chopped
  • Habanero, deseeded and diced
  • Serrano, deseeded and diced
  • Jalapeño, deseeded and diced

  • Garlic, minced
  • SeaSalt/Pepper
  • Lime, juiciness

Prep. Mix. ENJOY!

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I enjoyed my ¡Salsa Ⓥerde! with chips and as a relish for a satanishly amazing Seitan (Ⓥegan) Boca Sandwich with ¡Salsa Ⓥerde! as relish engulfed by a Pretzel Bun. And then there were POTATOES.

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EatYoVeggies!

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Go Cubs!

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 Apple Music > Netflix

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“Good people drink good beer”

-H.S.T

ExplosionsInTheSky

Fried Green Tomatoes

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Shop around. Be open-minded. Have possibilities open. I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I am the asshole, here. I, for the first time, consciously came across Green Tomatoes at a grocery store and purchased two of them. And could only think of the movie title, Fried Green Tomatoes, that I never have fully seen nor ever liked as a kid. My sisters and mom loved that movie. But, what the hell is a green tomato!?! And what the hell is a fried Green Tomato?!?! And they are delicious?!?! WTF 🙂

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Now, how can I prepare these Vegan and delicious at the same time?! Let’s try two different ways. And I am hungry. I had a few good beers prior, during and after to ensure lively creative flow. I feel like pasta and a sandwich. I felt like riding a bicycle hard and far this last weekend, unfortunately Illinois.

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Now, for any newbie (imaginary) readers, I build upon existing ideas. And that my (imaginary) readers is greatness and sustainability with creativity – a true ivity doggivity. Dog give a tea? I’ll dig deeper later.

Fried Green Tomatoes ingredients:

  • Green Tomato, sliced thicker
  • Batter (Cashew milk, Salt/Sugar/Pepper, Corn Starch)
  • Breadcrumbs/CornMeal mixture

Slice. Prepare batter and mixture. Dip accordingly. Bake.

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Grilled Daiya w/ Fried Green Tomato ingredients:

  • Fried Green Tomato, baked
  • Daiya, mmmmmmmmm
  • Bread, good (Bread:)
  • Earth Balance

Vegan butter Bread. Seer inside sides of Bread. Add Daiya. Start melting process. Construct sandwich. Seer. Grill if applicable. Enjoy.

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PBS = Plant-Based Sauciness ingredients:

  • Cashew milk
  • Eggplant, roasted and diced w/o skin
  • Green peppers, diced & sautéed
  • Garlic, chopped & sautéed
  • Sugar/SeaSalt/Pepper
  • CrushedRedPepper
  • Daiya
  • CornStarch

Heat. Mix. Blend. Thicken.

Fried Green Tomcatta ingredients:

  • PBS, warm
  • Noodles, cooked, drained but not rinsed & warm
  • Parsley, chopped
  • Fried Green Tomato

Construct.

It is so easy to create, for me. It is so hard to make time to put into words to share. I hope everyone has a wonderfully safe weekend!

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FlipMyBits

For months now, I’ve wanted to track my walking. I document everything else in my life, why not track it all. I wouldn’t mind tracking my sleep, also. I’ve attempted sleep-tracking before and it is extremely hard and not so accurate. I somehow brainstormed the idea of getting a FitBit. It was probably a commercial that I saw while watching the kickass Chicago Cubs dominate some other baseball team. And it clicked like a spark igniting a giant fire cracker. I ordered the FitBit Charge large in blue early in the morning on April 25th, 2016. It was a Monday. I was influenced to want to change my order to the HR the moment I realized that they were the same price. I assumed it would be a simple change.

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And the ordeal started. The order has been processed and the order could not be changed. The order also could not be canceled. I called hours after placing the order and, I believe, called somewhere overseas. I am just a big idiot and have a wishful and hopeful mindset of how business’ should be ran. I was under the impression that I was calling to the american business, just a building where the FitBit team worked and did all of their business. I’m all about people working and I am all about equality among everyone except St. Louis Cardinals fans (I’m kidding, but seriously). However, these nice people with not the best English probably make a fraction of the average minimum wage here in the United States. And I am against that! Greed is what is WRONG with this world and ultimately the cause of me wanting to move to MARS.

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The customer service team did OK. They gave me false promises and lagged any type of fast paced solutions. I had to refuse my package, which wasn’t guaranteed to be refused by the USPS, so I paid to ship it back to make sure it would get back home and to get what I truly want from this company. That is finding a solution to get what I want only because it’s common sense to me and I have initiative to get the product that I want. Otherwise, who knows what would get done or resolved.

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I tracked the return and it was delivered by Monday May 2nd, 2016. I called overseas and attempted to speak with a nice lady who spoke below average English. I had to receive an email, only because I called?, to prove that I returned it with a tracking number and all of that good stuff. And no response. I called again and was told that the order was going to be changed to the correct item and shipped out. In the back of me head, from side to side and wrapped fully around my brain smothering the oxygen completely out of my head, I knew something else was going to be a problem. And I received an email stating that I must be issued a refund. I emailed back stating that that was OK. Most of the time when calling the hold time is greater than 10 minutes. I kept checking my barely positive checking account for a refund and did not notice anything. I called after work last night around 8:45 pm and spoke with a very polite gentleman who claimed it needed to be processed through a different department. The company probably handles the funds in the USA, you know because of the greed. I am not seeing a refund today. I’m getting pissed off. I’m gonna tweet them and demand management. Right now I am in a chat demanding management.

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Sense of urgency is ideal for strong business tactics. FitBit is all about giving them a moment and making you do their work.

Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:38:47 AM CDT): Hi JEFFREY, my name is Hector N. How can I help you?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:39:51 AM CDT): i need to speak to management
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:40:25 AM CDT): i am getting angry and need to speak to management
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:40:29 AM CDT): I’ll be happy to help you
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:40:40 AM CDT): Can you let me know what is the issue
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:40:43 AM CDT): i need to speak to your boss
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:41:16 AM CDT): i am going through a giant ordeal trying to get the product i want
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:41:59 AM CDT): #10315667 i believe is the case number
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:42:24 AM CDT): Thanks
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:42:31 AM CDT): Allow me a moment please
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:42:37 AM CDT): yep
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:46:25 AM CDT): After checking on the previous cases you give us call yesterday right
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:47:07 AM CDT): yes, i’ve been given false promises and a lagging result
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:47:20 AM CDT): The agent that speak to you yesterday already escalate the case to the department that handle this refund cases
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:47:25 AM CDT): this shouldn’t be going into a month long process
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:47:50 AM CDT): i tried changing my order hours after placing it
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:47:57 AM CDT): this is now week two
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:48:20 AM CDT): Since we don’t have any exchange program we can’t give you the the Charge HR for that reason is that we need to follow the refund process
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:48:41 AM CDT): i couldn’t even cancel my order hours after placing it
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:48:54 AM CDT): Also we only have 30 minutes to cancel the orders
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:48:56 AM CDT): i paid to ship it back to you guys
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:49:12 AM CDT): why is this my fault
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:49:17 AM CDT): Can you give me the tracking number for the return
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:49:30 AM CDT): it has been sent and you already have it
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:49:36 AM CDT): I’m not saying that this is your fault Jeffrey
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:49:41 AM CDT): that has been confirmed twice
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:49:57 AM CDT): why am i getting the short end of the stick here
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:50:20 AM CDT): should i want to purchase the correct product if i ever get refunded next month
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:50:40 AM CDT): So we can confirm that the package is at our warehouse please provide me with he tracking number of the returned package
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:50:50 AM CDT): it has been confirmed twice
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:50:59 AM CDT): you guys have the product
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:51:04 AM CDT): and i emailed tracking
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:51:18 AM CDT): why should i have to continue to do your work
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:51:48 AM CDT): i already had to pay to refuse it to ensure it would get there
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:52:08 AM CDT): After checking on the previous cases that you provide me i didn’t find any tracking number
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:52:12 AM CDT): bad business tactic there “just refuse it”
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:53:02 AM CDT): What carrier do you used to return it?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:54:49 AM CDT): USPS same as you
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:54:56 AM CDT): i emailed the screenshot
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:55:18 AM CDT): so you guys don’t have anyone in charge?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:55:32 AM CDT): i’m not blaming your customer service
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:55:49 AM CDT): i’m blaming the guys in charge
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:56:14 AM CDT): I understand and i really apologize for this matter
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:56:14 AM CDT): i feel like they are trying to steal my money
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:56:26 AM CDT): We are checking this now allow me a moment
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:56:35 AM CDT): but i cannot speak with anyone in charge
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:57:05 AM CDT): your customer service has confirmed that you have it twice to me
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:57:30 AM CDT): this has been a two week ordeal
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:58:01 AM CDT): i gotta take time out of my days to be on hold for 10 minutes to be told various different things
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:58:37 AM CDT): or to chat with you. i need to have something resulting from this ordeal
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:58:41 AM CDT): Thanks Jeffrey
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:58:47 AM CDT): it shouldn’t take this long
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 8:59:25 AM CDT): I will start the the process for the refund
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:59:30 AM CDT): i was told yesterday that my order was changed and going to ship
Me (May 4, 2016 at 8:59:54 AM CDT): but it’s my fault that you guys can’t do that
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 9:02:16 AM CDT): As our warranty policy doesn’t allow us to exchange trackers, the only way to do it is giving you a refund
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:03:20 AM CDT): i’ll receive my refund next month? why was i given a false promise? why am i given this rollercoaster of emotions?
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 9:03:35 AM CDT): I already process the refund for 138.07
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 9:03:43 AM CDT): This takes 7-10 business days
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:04:02 AM CDT): bullshit
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:04:13 AM CDT): let me talk to your boss
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:04:18 AM CDT): do i need to call?
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 9:05:15 AM CDT): Allow me a moment then
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:08:33 AM CDT): the quicker the better
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:09:00 AM CDT): sense of urgency, a timely manner is much appreciated
Hector N (May 4, 2016 at 9:09:29 AM CDT): I will transfer the chat now
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:09:46 AM CDT): thanks hector, sorry you had to read my rants
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:10:10 AM CDT): Hello JEFFREY, my name is Edwin. How can I help you?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:10:32 AM CDT): i am extremely upset and angry with your business tactics
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:11:13 AM CDT): i placed an order and attempted to change/cancel it hours after being placed
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:11:28 AM CDT): and now it’s going to take a month to get my product
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:12:15 AM CDT): why can i not purchase the correct product with my money that you guys have???
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:12:17 AM CDT): I’ll be happy to assist you with your Fitbit inquiry. please allow me a moment while I check your information and previous conversation with Hector.
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:12:29 AM CDT): are you in charge?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:13:02 AM CDT): i need results today
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:13:17 AM CDT): if i need to go further up the ladder, that’s fine
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:13:33 AM CDT): i need to get it done now
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:13:52 AM CDT): what’s gonna compensate my damn time
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:13:54 AM CDT): Yes, Sir I am a supervisor from customer service and I’ll do everything in my hands to assist you.
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:13:57 AM CDT): please allow me a moment
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:14:52 AM CDT): i’ve only been waiting two weeks
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:16:17 AM CDT): upon checking the information in my system, I have confirmed that a refund was already processed. It is for the amount of $138.07
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:16:35 AM CDT): It should take 7-10 business days to credit back your money.
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:16:36 AM CDT): but i have to wait 7-10 business days?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:16:58 AM CDT): and then i need to order the correct product which will take another week
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:17:15 AM CDT): and you’re wanting to leave me unhappy
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:17:26 AM CDT): i need to speak to your boss!
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:18:07 AM CDT): immediately please
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:18:09 AM CDT): That is correct, that is the process we need to follow from now since we processed the refund. .
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:18:20 AM CDT): who is your boss?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:18:27 AM CDT): do i need to call in?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:18:53 AM CDT): who taught you guys to do business?
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:18:57 AM CDT): I am the only supervisor in charge and as I mentioned I have all the tools available to assist you with this matter. Since we processed the refund , it takes 7-10 business days.
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:19:20 AM CDT): so i’m supposed to remain unhappy
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:19:20 AM CDT): you can place a new order in the meantime, however, the refund is going to be done soon.
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:19:42 AM CDT): i’m probably not going to reorder from you guys if i remain unhappy
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:20:07 AM CDT): those are my fitbit funds that you still have and can’t get to me
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:20:52 AM CDT): i am not spending more money when i still think you guys are stealing from me
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:21:05 AM CDT): how do i know that i’ll be getting refunded
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:21:11 AM CDT): i don’t until i have to funds
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:21:52 AM CDT): You are getting refunded, please keep this case number for your references. Case# 10508498
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:22:08 AM CDT): You can also use this confirmation number: TUFRH655E
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:22:15 AM CDT): which i’m extremely unhappy about and now i have to spend more time trying to find a different brand because you guys can’t do proper business
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:22:58 AM CDT): Thank you for your time and patience with this process Jeffrey, Is there anything else I can assist you with?
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:23:04 AM CDT): do you know how much time i’ve invested in trying to fix this problem of you guys not knowing proper business
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:23:30 AM CDT): Sir, we are following the correct processes, you return your product, we process a refund, we cannot exchange it.
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:23:39 AM CDT): and again you’re trying top leave me unhappy
Edwin (May 4, 2016 at 9:23:44 AM CDT): after you receive your refund you, can place a new order.
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:23:51 AM CDT): not with you guys
Me (May 4, 2016 at 9:24:14 AM CDT): i need a company who can do proper business

I was left unhappy and forced to wait.

I need AVOCADO.

April Illinois Cycling Attempt

I’m not sure if it’s just Illinois or if it’s the entire midwest. The weather and magnitude of wind has progressively gotten worse and more intense just over a few years. I’m really getting fed up trying to maintain a hobby and lifestyle of cycling in Illinois. And the key to good longer rides is to remain comfortable, whether it be dry, cool and warm enough. It is extremely fun to ride with the wind, but a cross wind or head wind will take a toll at your (my) mind and your (my) body. It is easier to put up with bullshit on a short commute to or from work, but the long rides will never be perfect in Illinois.

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I’m going to try and put this month of April frustrations in terms of cycling into words, if possible. In early April, I rode in barely above freezing temperatures counties away from home while the wind happened. The wind happened and destroyed. This wind was so strong. It was swaying trees as if they were rubber and shattering them like twigs in a lawnmower. And the very next day, I rode straight into the wind and it was so difficult and draining that it took me an entire day to travel what should’ve taken 5-6 hours if someone could’ve flipped the off switch to the wind.

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I’m not a weak person, physically, but that weekend riding took it all out of me mentally. I did not ride for six days. Six days off of a bicycle is way too long for me. The weather became more normal and I just went about my business, riding a little here and there. Mostly commute rides until my next weekend off where I attempted bigger rides. The wind that Friday cut my bigger ride short and was followed by bike problems ending my ride horribly short. The next day I rode with a friend and grabbed a few beers. It was a good ride and a good day until that person bit the dust pretty hard trying to ride over cleanup attempts of tree debris from the crazy wind weekend that I rode through counties on the I&M Canal.

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The next week in April consisted of commutes with some of those commutes taken the long way. I went for a joy ride, maybe two. I worked my ass off and spent some time at the bike shop.

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This last week of April has been cold. It has also been windy and extremely uncomfortable. I’ve been commuting strongly and was planning a long ride today, April 30th, to end on a strong note. Nothing will literally dampen outdoor fun like cold rain. I may get out just to get out, but cold rain makes any kind of ride pretty short.

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Either Illinois is by far the worst state in the USA in terms of politics and weather or it’s a conspiracy of weeding out the good residents by spraying chemicals into the atmosphere to control the weather like the lucid drugs they feed these Illinois politicians to make sure Illinois is a horrible state outside of Chicago.

Or is this an accidental effect from putting chemicals in the atmosphere from factory farming resulting in this intense Climate Change. Is it windy in the West? Is shit just hitting the fan everywhere and scattering more shit everywhere only spraying that shit farther and farther every time. Is it a cycle of shit? How long before we are knee deep in shit? I want to move to Mars.

I’m ending this month on a salty note, but hard fought, mentally draining and painful kilometers.

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#RideOn

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Super Tahini

I love Ramen Noodles and always will. I will never eat the seasonings they provide, but the noodles are quick, easy and tasty. Not to mention the cost effectiveness of these noodles. Depending on where I purchase these, I can economically buy numerous servings for cents, while disposing the tiny sealed packages of ever denseful MSG and non-herbivorous contents.

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Mogwai SCRAM

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I love making EZ Chinesey out of Ramen Noodles. I usually include the recipes in my LBⓋ (Low Budget Vegan) recipes. I did not include this recipe complexity in my LBⓋ. I’m sure it is rather inexpensive. And insanely explodes with flavor and awesomeness!

Super Tahini ingredients:

  • Tahini
  • Earth Balance, heated & melted
  • Sesame Seeds, roasted
  • Tofu, extra firmly crumbled & slightly toasted
  • Wasabi Powder
  • Brown Sugar
  • Garlic Powder
  • Onion Powder
  • SeaSalt/Pepper
  • Sesame Oil
  • Sriracha

Mix well and heat at super simmer and do not scorch.

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 I added frozen Broccoli and Cauliflower to boiling water before adding the Ramen Noodles to the water for 2 minutes. I utilized Scallions and Cilantro by adding as raw as possible after draining and straining. AWESOME STUFF!

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Social Slavia

Social media is a wonderful tool and I am definitely a technology enthusiast, but cause and effect is present for anything. I was first introduced to the concept of social media in yahoo chat rooms where “LOL” was invented, which I refrain from utilizing in text and/or anything. I used yahoo chat to socialize privately in high school and found it entertaining, but grew bored. I loved myspace back in the early 2000’s before deleting that profile to switch to facebook. In 2009, I joined twitter. Now there are social media sites for athletes and there are social media sites for beer drinkers. Who knows what else. I am growing bored of all of these sites. I am growing bored of all the dumb stuff broadcasted. Things I do not give a shit about and things people post for attention and/or sympathy. I do not need a database to approve my decisions. I do not like the addiction that is attached to social media sites. I love my freedom and I love a true real life.

April 15, 2016, I deactivated my facebook account. I believe that I had 700+ friends of which I regularly interacted with maybe 50. I’ve been documenting who I’ve come face-to-face with and no one has noticed or acknowledged my departure from this cyber database. I’ve interacted with 15 people who I’m no longer friends with according to facebook without acknowledgment. Good deal:)

The sense of freedom is strongly noticeable after the departure. People on facebook are experts and smarter than you. People on facebook are funnier than you. Facebook is better off without me being involved. It was a very long process, but I feel much better already. And that is just the beginning. Facebook is fake. It is a fakebook. With all of the great things about it, the realism I’ve experienced makes it not worth it and a true nuisance. Just an early morning vent. Do not be a slave to anything! Happy Wednesday!

Quinoa Asparagus

I’ll never stop blogging of the awesome creativity that arises from spontaneity. Approaching things with an open-mind and allowing change makes life easily coped to reach greatness and stress-free scenarios.

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The level of creativity after a couple of good beers is comparable. But, please, blog responsibly. Big beer manufacturers do not want you to enjoy a surplus of their mind-altering beverages. They do not want to make a lot of money.

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Bicycles.

Video

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Bicycles.

Dairy&Cycling

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Bicycles.

Queen

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deftones

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Quinoa Asparagus ingredients:

  • Quinoa, black 🙂
  • Pepe, pasta
  • Asparagus, roasted
  • Tomato, julienne sliced
  • Earth Balance, mmmmm
  • Seasonings, to taste

Roast Asparagus. Cook Quinoa and add Pepe towards the end, turning off heat. Season and add to a bowl to mix with Earth Balance.

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Serve.

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Have fun with your food and please, keep an open-mind! GO BLACKHAWKS!

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