Ⓥitalia Insalata

Today at around 11:15 central time, I was riding down a street at around 40 km/h which is close to 25 mph and I was passed by a UPS driver being almost clipped on the lane transfer and then he stopped suddenly while putting hazards on at the last minute. I was forced to go around this giant shitstain truck that was still very much in the road when I noticed on coming traffic coming my way. I was not harmed, but the UPS dude gave me a thumbs up while I was giving him a different finger, while almost causing three separate accidents in his chaotic driving. Happy Thursday!
Also, wordpress is not uploading photos right now like UPS drives….
Monday I had flowing creative energies overflowing my body and persona. I love Mondays. I had a leftover Vegan Mexican concoction in the fridge. I also wanted to make Vegan burgers. I do not remember exactly what was in the Vegan Mexican concoction, so I won’t even get into it. I literally just added water and Corn Starch to form patties and threw them in the oven for a bit.
-Tomatoes, deseeded and chopped
-Cilantro, destemed and chopped
-Garlic, peeled and chopped
-Cucumber, diced
-SeaSalt/Pepper/Chipotle
-Lime, juiced
-Seitan, diced
-Parsley, destemed and chopped
-Shallot, diced
-Pico de Gallo, if not all consumed all ready 😉
-Raw Cashews, boiled, strained and ground
-Eggplant, slices roasted peeled and diced
-Scallions, diced
-Non-Dairy “cheese”
-Cilantro, chopped
-Nutritional Yeast
-Sriracha, cock sauce brand, splashy
-SeaSalt/Pepper/GarlicP/OnionP
-Cayenne/ChipotleP
-Almond Milk
-Sugar
-Corn Starch
Take a hike:
-Simmer almond milk. Again, I do not measure with anything other than instincts and eyes. Add seasonings and chopped and diced ingredients. Add Corn Starch last! I chose to keep it a little chunky, blend if desired.
-Bring to correct consistency and serve with Non GMO Project Verified chips or smother a Vegan burger. Enjoy warm and add a touch of water, broth or Almond milk to reheat. Garnish with Cilantro and Scallions. Have a good beer. Better yet, have two good beers and eat your heart out.
This IPA that I enjoyed last night was from Tighthead Brewery located in Mundelein, IL. It was an Irie IPA with 7.8% ABV and a whopping 134 IBU, according to Untappd. A very good IPA.
My Sundays are usually exactly the same boringness commuting via bicycle to work for eight hours and returning home to eat have a beer and watch a little Netflix before bed. Yesterday was still definitely a Sunday. I still rode Darth (Darth Vader, my 2015 Trek CrossRip Elite) to work. And I was sitting outside of work, cooling off and basically meditating to get my self psyched up for work, when I was scared almost to death, having multiple heart attacks when I saw this crawling on my ankle. That might be the definition of a run-on sentence, but I am nor ever was an English major.
I pushed the little rockstar off and ran to safety. I did not kill it or squash it. I took a picture of that beast, though. I had a great day at work and went to one of the five places where I find good new beers. This one being a liquor store in existence since the late 19th century, with an exception to prohibition, selling alcohol to LaSalle-Peru, Illinois. I came across four beers from a brewery that I have never seen before. There was a Saison, Dubbel, Tripel and a Witbier. Those four beers were all 750 ml and corked, but varied from $15.99-$19.99. The brewery Rockmill Brewery from Lancaster, OH, wherever that is. I chose the Saison for $16.99. This Saison is up at the top with my favorite Saisons, Firestone Opal and Brasserie Dupont Avec Les Bons Voeux.
It was light, tart and spicy. I cannot wait to try their other beers! If you see it and can afford it, try Rockmill Brewery.
It is essential for me to have quicker vegan food be edible sooner without loosing quality and nutrition. I’ve somewhat fallen off of the fake meat and cheese bandwagon while still choosing vegan Morning Star, Boca and Lightlife’s delicious Smart Dogs on a weekly basis.
I chose to join Apple Music last week and I am truly enjoying it. I have, in the past, used Spotify. I have never payed for any sort of music database other than iTunes Match. Bands that I have frequently enjoyed since joining Apple Music are Mouth of the Architect, God is an Astronaut and Form & Fate. I’m extremely happy to use Apple Music offline while in Airplane mode to conserve battery and data (I’m AT&T grandfathered).
I guess this recipe was definitely time consuming when you throw in the homemade Seitan. The other part was super easy and fast and thought of after my Wednesday night ride and a few beers. The way I make Seitan takes a few hours, but with a big enough batch, it is always worth it.
-Vital Wheat Gluten
-Vegetable Stock
-Tomato Sauce/Paste
-SeaSalt/Pepper/GarlicP/OnionP
-Sunflower Seeds, shelled and slightly crushed
-Rosemary, dried and slightly crushed
-Fennel Seeds, wholly moly
-Carrot and Onion, rough chopped
-Bay Leaves and Thyme
-Non-dairy Cheese Cloth 😉
-The first thing done was bring a pot of Broth, Carrot, Onion, Thyme, CRP, Thyme and Bay Leaves to a slow boil. Simmer.
-I mixed the Fennel Seeds, Rosemary, Seeds, SeaSalt/Pepper/GarlicP/OnionP, Vegetable Stock and a little Sugar and Cayenne together in a big bowl. I put the very very very Vital Wheat Gluten in a separate, yet bigger, bowl. I then poured the liquid greatness with the gluten hand kneading slowly but efficiently until a loaf is formed. I wet the non-dairy cheese cloth with water and then spray the loaf with non-stick spray and roll it up.
-Put into a lasagna pan and pour half of simmering Broth onto raw Seitan roll keeping Bay Leaves and veggies in broth and not on top of non-dairy cheese cloth.
-Bake for 2-2.25 hours flipping over halfway and adding remaining broth, if needed.
-Once complete, unwrap Seitan from non-dairy cheese cloth like the plastic surgeon did for Joker in the first Batman movie from 1989 with Jack Nicolson and Michael Keaton. Just don’t smash a mirror or continue to give Batman hell. Wrap the not so funny, but seriously delicious Seitan in foil and refrigerate. Use how you’d like.
I’ve been slacking on my blogfulness and have been trying to complete this blog for a few days now, but the Chicago Cubs just ended their “Not Being No-Hit” streak since 9.9.65 when Sandy Koufax did it. This time being Cole Hamels who has been rumored to be interested in acquiring via trade by Cubs and numerous other teams. IRONY.
Lettuce Greatness ingredients:
-Iceberg Lettuce, shredded
-Guacamole, homemade or store bought
-Vegenaise, mmmmmmmmmmmm
-Sriracha, cock sauce brand
-Seitan, diced
-Pico de Gallo, homemade or store bought
Tricks:
-Mix.
I made two different batches of Nachos or better yet, Ⓥachos!
I used blue corn tortillas and NON-Dairy Go Veggie “cheese” with various toppings. And they were very quick and very tasty.
-Tortillas, warmed or not warmer-bigger the better
-Seitan, if ya want additional
-Blue Corn Tortilla chips, on the side
-Go Veggie “cheese”
-Veggies, various and diced
I made the Ⓥurritos and threw them on a cast iron skillet for a couple of minutes for color. I put the Ⓥachos under the broiler for a couple of minutes to melt the “cheesy” greatness and served them to myself in these paper lined baskets because I HATE DOING DISHES.
Happy day off to me and happy Monday to y’all!
Eat, ride and live healthy. It took me three days to completely edit this….
This tofurrito that I created and dominated last night was so amazing that I had to share this morning. Also, I came across this this morning:
Garmin Varia Radar
It’s 199 U.S. dollars for just the radar. I feel I need it for country rides, but not for in-town commutes or joyrides as traffic is a constant anyways. It is only compatible with select Garmin devices. Including my Garmin Edge 1000 that I spent $700 on. I also tried a few new brews last night. All were very drinkable at the least.
-Tofurky, oven roasted
-Guacamole, non gmo project verified
-Hummus, original or HOMEMADE 🙂
-Organic Mustard
-Iceburg Lettuce, shredded smally
-Sunflower Seeds, shelled
-Fiesta Fresh Salsa (Garlic)
-Extra Large Tortilla
Tofurrito Steping Stones:
-Combine Lettuce, seeds and Fiesta greatness together and toss. Meanwhile, collide hummus, guacamole and mustard neatly, but impactful. Take the big ass tortilla and smear that chickpea-avocado mess onto the tortilla. Does anyone else consider small tortilla shells useless? Cover with Tofurky.
-Smother all of that with the lettuce mixture and literally roll up and cut in half.
Ride a bike, enjoy a GOOD beer and be happy.
I’ve had a super busy month of June. I have statistics and numbers to elaborate. It is now the 10th of July and I am still recuperating. The best thing about it all is that I’ve chosen to take that leap from Ovo-Lacto Vegetarianism to Veganism as of 07.08.15. Time is everything. Time is something you cannot control. Time will continue throughout the ever-expanding universe even without precious you. What do you do with your time (EXACTLY)?
I’ve spent TIME in the past, accumulating numbers for TIME spent on things, but only a week at a TIME. And I’ve only included Facebook as my audience. This TIME, I try and make sense out of the entire 720 hours, 1,800 minutes and 108, 000 seconds involved timely in JUNE of 2015.
Out of all of the 720 hours of June, I have been Vegetarian for completely all of them, but ⓋEGAN at least 288 hours. I’ve been Vegetarian for three whole years without any slip-up… I have completed six straight ⓋEGANVEEKENDS. #VeganWeekends or #VeganVeekends are me being completely ⓋEGAN from midnight Friday morning until 11:59 Sunday night. And recently I have realized that I’m not meant for eggs or dairy at all. It stopped agreeing with the all-mighty science of my body. BOOM.
The only explanation of time I cannot account for could very well be linked to PORN. And by my PORN viewings, it must stop TIME literally because I watch 165 PLUS hours of PORN a week.
CELLARING TIPS: TIME LOCK SAFE DON’T DRINK THAT SHIT
No one watches porn. There is no money in that.
Wanna know something cool that I have figured out. Rhetorical question mark has got to be a freaking period?
(Slightly tipsy)
I have always worked in the restaurant business, killing myself and killing others with tasty and cholesterol packed foods and money tips are great. BUT I TELL YOU SOMETHING, when you leave that death-trap and work in a workplace full of life and help. When you’re not killing people in your line of work, that is a great feeling. Instead of selling well done filets, extra bloody carnivorous rare T-bones, meat lover pizzas, or basically contributing to a future heart attack, selling a nice door and windows that bring life and happiness to people. Unfortunately, many purchasing a nice door or replacing a double hung window, have been killing themselves with red meat and arty clogging cheese. It is incredible to have people skills and to sell necessities rather than sad addictions. Even better than that feeling is when you occasionally, or for me, an often handshake. I get many handshakes and after selling 2,000 dollars in just windows.
I might be the only asshole who is good with people, but gets a minor chubby after every handshake.
ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS AND/OR CARRY SANITIZER WITH YOU
GOD IS AN ASTRONAUT
WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE USAULLY ISNT VEGAN
In the past, I’ve often used Worcestershire sauce in my Bloody Mary’s to add a little flare and flavor. Worcestershire sauce often and possibly always involves anchovies at the least. I concocted a Vegan Bloody Mary, but being Vegan, I need to remove the “bloody” from the name.
In the month of June, there were roughly 135 hours of TIME that I cannot account for and probably ties into many other things.
I have spent almost a third of my time in June working a whopping 197.42 hours. That’s an average of almost 50 hours a week. I was working two jobs for the majority of the month. I spent 32 hours riding my bicycles, 1,922 minutes to be more exact and quite a few of those hours were commuting the long way to work. Some were even climbing 200 meters before and after work, unfortunately, not during work or on the clock. I did climb a total of 3, 450 meters throughout June. My goal was 8, 848 meters, being the altitude of Mt. Everest to complete the Strava Climb For Nepal challenge. My total distance ridden was 763 kilometers or 763, 000 meters, being 8, 623 % of distance in climbing to complete that challenge. After riding 8, 623 % of climbing goal, only 40 % of goal was achieved. Now the month of June here in Illinois was not exactly Mt. Everest climbing weather.
According to
Illinois received the most rainfall in the country in the month of June at 9.3 inches. In California it rained 2.5% of Illinois rainfall. I believe year round, Florida or Floyduh has one of the biggest annual rainfalls, only precipitated 63.4% of Illinois precipitation. My birth state, Colorado, rained only 20.7% of what Illinois rained.
There were many days that it was too wet to ride comfortably and many days I did ride uncomfortably.
I concluded that I spent 42 hours watching sports and/or socializing and I enjoyed 56 beers last month for the very first time. I have made some adjustments and hopefully sense out of my 135 unanswered hours. I figured that I have spent 75 hours cooking/eating, 9 hours grooming/hygiene, 6 hours cleaning, only 50 hours watching Netflix/internet, 5 hours mowing the lawn, 10 hours shopping, 25 hours in the restroom RESTING, and 271 hours sleeping. 271 hours of sleep averages a little over 9 hours of sleep a day in the bedroom not the restroom. Many of these hours intertwine as I am a king of multi-tasking. It is crazy to think about and is not exactly quick and easy to calculate, but at the same time is fun to see and share.
As for this “bloody” Mary, I have decided to name it Vegan Garden Mary.
Vegan Garden Mary ingredients:
-Rosemary infused Vodka
-Sriracha
-Balsamic Vinegar
-Tomato Juice
-Lemon Juice
-SeaSalt/CelerySalt/Pepper/
-Celery
-Green Olives and Green Olive Juice or Brine
The first thing to complete is infusing your Vodka with a few sprigs of Organic Rosemary. Fresh, of course. You’ll want to either drink a few shots of Vodka or use for Vegan Vodka Sauce like I did and throw the sprigs into the bottle closing it and infusing for 4-5 days. After infusement, strain Vodka into container and discard empty bottle with trapped Rosemary sprigs. When the Rosemary has been infused, it is go time. Combine all ingredients and garnish with Celery, Olives and Rosemary. Take a pic, cheers your friends and enjoy!