Terrifying Tofu Genocide

TO(O)FU(N)

I wanted to have some fun with Tofu. I did have some fun. And it has been documented. I will say, grilled Tofu is now by far my favorite way to prepare it and consume it. I’m just gonna jump in… Feet first.

Srirsalmic ingredients:

• Olive oil, all the dudes love extra virgins
• Garlic, fresh and minced
• Turmeric, fresh and minced
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Sriracha, cock sauce
• Molasses
• Shallot, diced
• SeaSalt/Pepper/Oregano
• Red Wine Vinegar & Cayenne powder, dashes

Mix & stir welly before usage.

SeanutSutter Soy:

• Peanut Butter
• Soy

Mix.

Wusuppy ingredients:

• Wasabi powder
• Broth, Vegetable
• Sea Salt
• Cayenne powder
• Molasses

Mix.

So, I don’t believe I have ever had sushi. Traditional sushi does not appeal much to me. I am a rock star and why would I change that.

Marination ingredients:

• Ginger, fresh and minced
• Garlic, fresh and minced
• Turmeric, fresh and minced
• Sesame Oil
• Tahini
• Soy Sauce
• Sriracha
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Cilantro, sliced stems
• Peanut Butter
• Lemon Juice, fresh
• Shallot, diced
• Molasses
• SeaSalt/Pepper

Mix and marinate dried extra firm Tofu slices.

Tofu Crumbles ingredients:

• Tofu, extra firm and crumbled
• Garlic powder
• Onion powder
• Sea Salt/Pepper
• Dill Weed

Mix.

Ⓥicatta ingredients:

• Grilled Marinated Tofu
• Tofu Crumbles
• Capers
• Onion, diced
• Scallions, sliced for garnish
• Lemon Juice
• Earth Balance
• White Wine
• Mushroom, sliced
• Celery, sliced
• Sweet Potato, chopped large
• Flower, Flour
• Olive Oil, extra virgin
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Garlic, fresh and minced
• Sea Salt/Pepper
• Cayenne powder
• Cashew Milk

Rules of Engagement:

• Saute Garlic and add Onion, Celery and caramelize in Oil.
• Add Sweet Potatoes and stirringly saute.
• Add Balsamic, Lemon Juice and Wine.
• Cook down Wine. And don’t drive if you drink the rest of the bottle:)
• Add Earth Balance, Mushrooms and ‘Milk’.
• Season and add Capers, Tofu Crumbles.
• Stir on medium high heat and grill your Tofu.
• Plate and garnish. I forgot to garnish with Lemon…Too many sips of the Wine;)

Loaded Salad ingredients:

• Tofu Marination, iBaked…defintely grill
• Iceberg, wedged and removed from holding that door open
• Radish, sliced
• Tomato, graped halfly
• Scallion, sliced
• Rye Bread, toasted and cut
• Capers
• Mushroom, sliced
• Daiya, slices
• Carrot, shaved or slivered
• Srirsalmic, mmmmmmmm
• Spinach, basil-sliced

Boom.

Chinese Pizza ingredients:

• Tortilla, the bigger the better-size does matter
• Pizza Sauce, store bought or nought
• Daiya, I used ‘provalone’ pre-sliced and sliced block ‘cheddar’
• Cashews, raw and then grilled:)
• Tofu, grilled and then sliced
• Scallions, sliced for garnish

Pizza Pizza:

• Grill Tofu and Cashews.
• Put Tortilla in a hot pan.
• Top the Tortilla and cover.
• Garnish and EAT.

I also made an Eggplant version with basil-sliced Spinach.

Relish ingredients:

• Cucumber (4.5) @ $0.70 = $0.16 per serving, deseeded and diced
• Onion (4) @ $0.80 = $0.20 per serving, diced
• Tomato (6) @ $1.50 = $0.25, deseeded and deiced
• Serrano Pepper (8) @ $1.17 = $0.15, deseeded and diced
• Celery Seed/Celery Salt/Pepper = $0.05 per serving
• Garlic (3) @ $0.24 = $0.08, minced
• Mustard = $0.05 per serving , ground
• Basil (10) @ $3.00 = $0.30, freshly chopped

Mix & have fun with.

Tofato Souper w/ Grilled Daiya ingredients:

• Tofu, not squared, but cubed (to the third power)
• Tomato Concentrate
• Guts, leftover Cucumber and Tomato guts from my abundance of Relish I posted a few days ago.
• Garlic powder/Onion powder
• Rye, grilled
• Relish
• Daiya
• Vegenaise
• Scallions, sliced for garnish

Make your sandwich and await your Tofato Souper.

Tofunated EZ Chinesey  ingredients:

• Ramen noodles, undercooked and drain.
• Sesame Seed Oil
• Sesame Seeds
• Ginger, fresh and minced
• Garlic, fresh and minced
• Turmeric, fresh and minced
• Soy Sauce
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Tofu, Wasabified and grilled
• Sriracha
• Scallions, sliced for garnish

Simplicity simplified:

• Undercook Ramen and donate the non-vegan seasoning.
• Drain.
• Dry same pot, add oil and heat.
• Toss in Ginger, Garlic, Sesame Seeds and Turmeric.
• Caramelize.
• Include Balsamic, Sriracha, Soy Sauce and Noodles.
• Stir. Plate. Oppositely subtract Tofu and Garnish immediately.

Ⓥinston’s Ⓥagel ingredients:

• Earth Balance, mmmmm
• Tofu Marination, get it extra firm and braise that bad boy.
• Spinach, basil-sliced
• Tomato, grapely halved
• Shallot, sliced
• Bagel, toasted

Ⓥ Fry ingredients:

• Cauiflower, chopped
• Tofu, cubed
• Daiya, mmmmmmmm
• Garlic, minced
• Turmeric, minced
• Ginger, minced
• Serrano, deseeded and diced
• Relish, mmmmmmmmmmm
• SeaSalt/Pepper/Paprika/OnionP/NutritionalYeast
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Carrot, stringiness
• Soy sauce

Have fun and Fry away.

Tofempehwich ingredients:

• Tofu, grilled
• Tempeh, grilled
• Daiya, mmmmm
• Bun, gurmet
• Spinach, basil-sliced
• Relish, mmmmmmm

Construct.

BBⓋ Tofu ingredients:

• Tofu, extra firm crumbles
• GarlicP/OnionP/Pepper
• Sriracha, cock sauce
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Liquid Smoke
• Molasses

Mix and broil if desired.

ⓋLT w/ BBⓋ Tofu ingredients:

• Bacon, Vegan
• Bun, gourmet and grilled
• Spinach, basil-like sliced
• Earth Balance, mmmmmm
• Tomato, sliced w/ a touch of SeaSalt

Erect and destroy with your big and strong plant eating teeth.

Wasabi Tofu ingredients:

• Wasabi, powder
• Ginger, powder
• Garlic, powder
• Tofu, extra firm crumbles

Mix.

Chinese Weiner ingredients:

• Smart Dog, grilled
• Bun, grillio, yo!
• Wasabi Tofu

Consume.

I don’t know about anyone else, but some of these terms for these ingredients are somewwhat sexual. I’m not saying that I’m not a pervert, I’m just saying.

So, I had a Sushi idea in my head, but got lazy and decided to be a meatless lover. If that makes any sense. I’m a dude, I might practice a Vegan lifestyle, but I like to eat Vegan like a man, I think. Not too sure how other Vegan males deplete their hunger, but I am well aware of my processes.

Sushi Browned Rice ingredients:

• Brown rice, post-soaked & rinsed
• Olive Oil
• Sesame Oil
• Ginger, fresh and minced
• Sriracha
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Garlic, P for powder

After ingredients:

• Tahini
• Molasses
• Red Wine Vinegar
• White Wine, dashly

Heat Oil mixture and get that Ginger going. Combine everything else with double water of Rice measurement and bring to a boil. Cover and Coolio.

Jeff’s Sushi? ingredients:

• Sushi Browned Rice
• Bacon, Ⓥegan
• Tofu, sliced long and extra firm
• Toothpicks

Roll ’em up and stick a pick through ’em. I was more impressed with the sauces to dip. (see very top)

HAPPY HERBIVOROUS EATING!