Slow Strava Aptitude 

I’m new here on whatever this is. Blognet, blogville, blog your mom. Anyways. I somehow started my long-thought dream of blogging all over you. I went for a night FatBike ride tonight thinking roads were gonna be slightly bad for a cross bike. The roads were actually amazing until I came into parks and a cemetery. 

I’ve been drinking all day. I have been consumed with ‘work’. I pace my drink. I rode hard and it was amazing. Just wanted my shit to sync. I guess I am scared of all of you. 



So, my ride uploads through my wifi or others. It then goes through GarminConnect (bless their souls) where it links to Strava, usually. I’m upset that Strava is blank for a crazy night ride, but it is okay. 

There are two really nice women at the grocery store that used to always ring me up after a super long and awful days of work at my old job before I quit. I am horrible with names. But, I’ll remember their faces forever. It was nice to finally see them for the first time in four months. 



I haven’t ridden the FatBike in weeks. And the air pressure was low. The last FatBike ride I was on was an IVCA (Illinois Valley Cycling Association) Wednesday night I&M Canal ride that had a few ice age apocalyptic  catastrophes. The low tire pressure helps grip the dangerous terrain. I biffed it one and a half times. I’m an excellent biff artist. I put some air in the tires. 



My ride uploaded to Strava this morning. Not sure why there is sometimes a delay. I’m close to a 250 km mark for the month. It is not much, but it is all outside riding in the heart of a cold winter. I have two days left and need 40 km. Every mile or kilometer counts. #RideOn

Veggie Burger

VeggHead BeerCyclist 2.26

I’ve been thinking of this meal for a few days now. And I’m super excited to create this and eat it all. I’m so hungry. Hunger is motivation. I’d love a beer.



I’m enjoying my second 2015 Extra Hoppy Old Guardian by Stone. I’ve already been known to love Barleywine beers, but this one is probably the best Barleywine beer that I have ever had. I’m a hop addict. They make me truly hoppy. 
One thing about Barleywine beers is that that pack a punch. They are always at least 9% ABV. Plan their enjoyment responsibly. Calorically speaking, they are probably horrible for you. Situations like this is where happiness is more important than health. For me, at least. Moderation is the key for anything. 



This meal has a few steps that I did in a special order to have everything ready and hot close to the same time. I prepared the homemade Thousand Island and Veggie Burgers on a previous day. Might as well start with those. 
Pea-Brain Patties:
-Slightly overdone Blackeyed Peas
-Slightly overdone Split Peas 
-Carrots grated dicely
-Diced White or Yellow Onion, carmelized
-Garlic, caramelized
-Oats
-Sunflower Seeds w/o shell
-Sautéed Peppers, sautéed 
-Habaneros, diced
-Dry Brown Rice, slightly over cooked and seasoned
-Baked Potatoes, cooled and diced
-Celery Seed
-Kale, chopped
Cumin/Fennel/Salt/Pepper/Garlic
-Egg
-Corn Starch, if needed
-CornFlakes Crumbs
>Mix, Form, Bake



Vegan Thousand Island:
-Veganaise
-Sriracha
-Celery Seed
-Garlic, caramelized 
-Sea Salt/Pepper/Sugar
-Paprika/Garlic/Onion Powder
-Balsamic Vinegar
-Diced Hot Peppers (I used Habanero)
-Deseeded Cucumber, diced
>Mix while listening to good tunes
NOTES:
-That is amazing Thousand Island.
-Those Patties were originally supposed to be vegan, but wouldn’t hold together how I like. 
-I love Veganaise. 
-I always use dry beans. Have a little dignity. Do it right and save money! 
I was disappointed with the way the side turned out. Definitely edible and the Burgers were NO JOKE. The side was a Cabbage stir-fry. I did not use oil. I did not even sauté anything. I baked and used Veggie a Broth as a lubricant. Lubricant? Whatever… If it weren’t for the Greek Yogurt I used, it would be Vegan. Veganaise would work great. Cabbage Dry Stir-Fry is the name I gave the side. 



Cabbage Dry Stir-Fry ingredients:
-Garlic and Ginger, diced
-White or Yellow Onion, diced
-Carrot, diced
-Sea Salt/Pepper/Sugar/Ceyanne/Dill
-Cucumber, deseeded and diced
-Soy Sauce/Sriracha 
-PLAIN Greek Yogurt
-Cabbage, finely chopped
-Veggie Broth
So, this burger… Is named Crazy Cheesy Split&Blackeyed Hawaiian Pea-Brain Veggie Burger. It deserves a unique and elaborate name.

The first time I picked up an Extra Hoppy Old Guardian, the liquor store guy, Dom, offered it to me as I had already picked up a regular 2015 Old Guardian. They were in the back as they just came in. Only 6.99 for a bomber. Outstanding! The other day I didn’t see them on any shelves. I figured they were sold out already. I picked up a few other beers and then got to the checkout line and Dom was there. I asked if they were sold out already. Dom said no and grabbed one from underneath the counter as if we were back in the prohibition at an illegal speakeasy. It’s a very good marketing scheme and I hope to pick another up the next time I’m there. Excellent Barleywine! 



Crazy Cheesy Split&Blackeyed Hawaiian Pea-Brain Veggie Burger ingredients:
-White or Yellow onion, sliced thick and at the middle of onion
-Slightly thick cored sliced Pineapple seasoned with Cayenne
-Artichoke, sliced into 1/6 pieces
-Thousand Island
-Hearty Buns
-Pea-Brain Patty
-Mozzarella Cheese, sliced from block
-Sharp Cheddar Cheese, sliced from block
-American Cheese
-Cali Avocado 
-Manpower/Technique 
-Drinkable Good Beer for hydration purposes
I used parchment paper, but ran out. I used a piece of aluminum foil. I also used a vast surplus of love and architecture building/design mentalities. This Sandwich is a tower. And liked to come apart a bit. Broiler and oven was a great help. 



Steps Schedule:
I first roasted the sliced onions and pineapple flipping carefully once for 25 minutes at 350* F. I then broiled them for a minute for color and burnt greatness. They escaped the heat and I set them aside. 
I saved the parchment paper after saving the onion and pineapple from the fire. I put the diced garlic and ginger directly up my nose because the smell was too amazing. I roasted those for 10-15 minutes. I hope you didn’t put anything up your nose. Control the urge! They smell even better once they start to roast. While in oven, I then diced carrot, cucumber and onion. I put them into a mixing bowl and seasoned with dry ingredients and added roasted garlic and ginger. 
I threw the mixture into the oven and got the other burger veggies sliced. I moved the burger prep out of the way. No one likes a cluttered cutting board especially when the Cabbage is on deck. AND Cabbage is CRAZY. With a clean cutting board, I was in no way bored. I cut that Cabbage so good. Mix with Sriracha, Soy Sauce and Veggie Broth and throw on top of already roasting for 20 minutes veggies. 
I used to think I liked longer chunks of cabbage, but finely chopped is the correct way for me. Don’t let me lie to you. 
Now is a good time to get a good grip on your buns and find that crack. If there isn’t a crack, you’ll have to credit card those buns with a bread knife. If there is a crack, put your fingers in there generously and bust those buns apart. We’ll need to lather in between the crack. The lather treatment consists of Thousand Island dressing that you should have already made! You’re gonna want to broil these buns and char a bit if you live on the edge.
Set those beautiful buns right in front of your eyes. Take a good look at those buns and prepare to clothe those buns with edible clothing. I had a concept of stacking ingredients. Oh, yeah, that’s right. I did it again. Throw the Pea-Brain Patty on the ultimate kitchen hardware, your Pizzazz. The patty only needs eight minutes. 
I wanted to smartly stack the layers of this amazing sandwich with Cheese dripping down for a visual stimulation to people. 
I went: Bun, Cheese, Pea-Brain, Cheese, Avocado, Onion, Cheese, Pineapple, Cheese, Artichoke, Top Gun…..BUN. 
Don’t forget about the Cabbage. Mix it with the Greek Yogurt or Veganaise. Plate it all up and sell it! Crazy Cheesy Split&Blackeyed Hawaiian Pea-Brain Veggie Burger all day! 
The sandwich stayed together amazingly in my hands until my teeth and tongue ripped that baby to shreds like a damn carnivore. And it was totally herbivore the whole time! Enjoy! If you wanna see how I rank BEERS, become a friend of mine on Untappd. 
NOTES: 
-For the last few years, I’ve included skins on my veggies as much as possible. I hope people love nutrients as much as I do. 
-My oven is awesome. The broiler is on the top of the inside of the oven. Convenience is amazing. 
-I’m gonna go for a good ride tomorrow. FatBike? 
-Barleywine makes me feel fine!
#RideOn #Cheers