Daiya Stuffed Tomato

My Aunt gave my Mother a few delicious garden tomatoes the other day. My mother, who knows how much i hate plants and wish death on all of them, gave me the majority of them. I butchered the biggest, meatiest and liveliest Tomato that I could find. I first obtained it and named it and showed all the kids, who adored this giant Tomato, Potato. I kept it around for awhile and became friends with Potato, the Tomato. I got hungry. I became a bit greedy. I took out my butcher dagger and gutted Potato, the Tomato, and consumed all of its flesh violently like an animal. I like animals, though. I would never murder them, but I dispise PLANTS…..

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In todays plant massacre….

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I boiled, seasoned and cooked a mixture of Cacti, White Rice and Japonica Rice. I gutted Potato, the Tomato, and threw his guts in with the Rice including Cilantro, and Earth Balance dairy-free ‘Butter’. I chopped any little life left that an Enjoya Pepper would have and grilled those meaty mofos. I baked, I roasted, I killed those plants and ate them all viscously. And not only do I do, but I tell others about my rage against plants. I practically boast upon their death.

 

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